The Trouble with Jellybeans
by Black Stormraven
Summary: The Doctor is a thief and Martha is not pleased about it. My first real attempt at humor, with some hints of Ten/Martha thrown in.


The Doctor never saw the projectile flying towards his head. Even if he had there would have been little he could have done to stop it. As it was, the pillow made an audible smack against his head, snapping his focus from the scanner he'd been observing. His guard went up immediately, his sense widening to find the source of the attack. "DOCTOR!" Well, there was his answer.  
Martha stood in the doorway to the control room, hands on her hips, her eyes glaring daggers at him. He was suddenly grateful she was human instead of a medusa-like being whose look could literally kill. "What was that for?" he shouted indignantly.

"Oh, you know exactly what you've done, you git!" Blimey, she was livid.

"No, I seriously don't." He really didn't. "Martha, what's wrong with you?"

He quickly backed up from her as she advanced on him, running into the wall in the process. Her arms never rose, but her eyes alone were enough to pin him in place. She reminded him of a Stygmalian lynx, the way she held him with nothing more than a stare. Small but powerful creatures, those lynxes, just like Martha. "Jellybeans."

He made a face. "What?"

Martha took another step closer, deliberately invading his space. "My. Jellybeans." He flinched when she poked him (rather hard) in the center of his chest. "I brought a big bag of jellybeans with me the last time we stopped on Earth, and now it's gone. Care to explain that, mister?"

The Doctor glanced around for a way out. "So why does that make you go off on me? I haven't taken them!"

"Oh, really?" The finger she'd jabbed at his chest snapped up between them, just in front of his nose. "One. I don't recall the TARDIS even being capable of eating like you or I." A second finger joined the first. "Two. I've only eaten a handful of them myself." A third finger. He was starting to get cross-eyed. "Three. You're the only other person here." Another finger. How many more reasons was she going to give? "And four." Ah. "You're a well-known snack thief."

He looked past her fingers and into her eyes. He put on his best 'hurt-feelings face. "Now, that hurts, Martha."

She lowered her hand and stepped back very slightly, then crossed her arms over her chest. "The truth hurts, Doctor. Now admit it: you stole my jellybeans!"

"I did not!" She raised an eyebrow at him. "Well, not all of them! It's not like it was an exceptionally huge bag, Martha. One or two handfuls and that's the end of them. I only had a few. Well, except the white ones. Really hate coconut. Don't understand why anyone would want jellybeans in that flavor anyway. Now banana! That's one that _should_ be made, if I do say so myself…"

"DOCTOR!" Oh right. Martha. Still mad. Right. "I know it's difficult for you, but focus. I brought those with us as special treats, meaning 'not to be eaten in one go'. Not to mention they were hidden under my pillow, which means you not only stole them, you snuck into my room to get them!"

He ducked his head in exaggerated shame. "The door was open."

"That doesn't mean it's an invitation to go snooping for snacks!" She saw him shift to sidestep her, but she was quicker. "You're not getting away that easy, mister." Uh-oh. That glint in her eye couldn't be good.

He swallowed hard as a million possibilities of what she might mean ran through his head. He wasn't really keen on any of them. Well, the majority of them. Not that he'd ever let her know, of course. "Uh, you're not gonna hit me, are you?" If she was anything like her mother (and he knew she was), she could pack a wallop in a slap.

A slow smile spread across her lips. Double uh-oh. "You, Doctor, are going to make it up to me." He flinched violently again when both her hands came up to his coat. She smoothed out the lapels before straightening his tie. In her state, he wasn't too thrilled about her hands being that close to his neck. "First," she said softly, "you're going to buy me FIVE bags of jellybeans. Second, you're going to take me somewhere nice. I want music and a nice dress and to be dazzling." _Not hard, Miss Jones_, he thought to himself. Was it his imagination or were her hands moving closer to his throat? "And lastly, you are going to stay away from my jellybeans." Without warning, she pushed the knot of his tie up, cutting off a good amount of his air. He gasped (more in surprise than any actual fear or pain) and tried to pull her hands away. But she refused to budge. She just smiled up at him, a slight maniacal spark in her expression. "Got it?" She took his stuttered gasps and jerks of his head as a 'yes' and finally let him go. He made a big production of regaining his breath, but Martha wasn't fazed. She just kept smiling at him. "Great! I'll get changed and you can pick a fabulous place for me to enjoy myself tonight."

Only when she was almost out of the room did he dare to say anything. "Pushy, cheeky woman," he muttered to himself.

"What was that?" How in hell did she hear that?

"Nothing!" He put on his best 'innocent' face. "I didn't say anything. You're hearing things. Seriously."

Martha glared at him once more, this time not without a smile (a true smile), before heading off in search of the perfect outfit for the night.

When they returned to the TARDIS some hours later, a smiling, satisfied Martha led a very tired, slightly frustrated Doctor inside. She carried the five rather large bags stuffed with jellybeans of ever flavor (none of which she disliked) in her arms, cuddling them like she would a fluffy kitten or puppy dog. The Doctor was pouting behind her. "Have a heart, Martha," he whined. "Can't I have just one?"

"Nope." She popped the 'p'. That was _his _quirk! She needed to quit acting so much like him.

He tried another approach. "Sweet, lovely, brilliant, fabulous, wonderful Martha Jones. Just one little nibble for a starving man?"

He saw her hesitate before laughing. "Flattery will get you nowhere in this scenario, Doctor."

Her choice of words caused him to hesitate in turn. "But it will get me somewhere in others?"

Her step faltered a bit, and he saw just a hint of a glowing smile as she turned her head over her shoulder just slightly. Then she disappeared down the hall, presumably to secret away her new candy hoard.

The Doctor would never admit it (not while she was in earshot, anyway), but he'd truly enjoyed watching her have fun tonight. She deserved a bit of relaxation after everything she'd been though with him. He always found her childishness rather endearing, despite the fact that he'd felt a twinge of fear for his life before she'd made her demands. Blimey, even that was attractive. She was such a strong, fierce woman. She didn't take kindly to anyone disrespecting her or presuming her to be a fool, not that he ever did; he just enjoyed teasing her every now and then. And sometimes that came back to bite him when she reminded him just how clever she really was; she didn't need someone to walk her through everything; give her the basics and she'd figure out the rest on her own and save dozens of lives in the process. She was truly extraordinary.

The Doctor shook his head to clear away further thoughts in that direction. He'd allow himself to get distracted later. Right now, he needed to plan. Martha wouldn't make it easy to 'liberate' her jellybeans from their new hiding place. But he was nothing if not deviously clever himself.

**Note: **Finally a break from the angst! I'm rubbish at writing humor, but this just popped into my head one night. Thought it'd be fun, so here it is! I hope it makes someone at least chuckle –nervous laugh- Off I go! –zooms away in rocketship-


End file.
